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To Complain Or Not To !

Dr. Navniit Gandhi Tuesday, March 6, 2012

What a place this is...

No life here...

Just a few years more...

No place for merit...

It’s only ‘Vaasta’ that matters...

Take a deep breath. Try to recollect as to how many times these statements have crept in conversations you have heard or shared...

There is no dearth of complaints by all of us, about the place; the people; the work culture; the overall environment and particularly about the attitude of the natives. We have a grudge against everything and everyone...

The traffic is bad; the weather is bad; the people around are not intelligent and hard-working; the opportunities for growth are almost non-existent; the roads are unsafe for women; this is no place for children to grow—they just become gadget-addicts...

Those who do not crib and complain are few. And yet, we are lakhs of us who have chosen to come and earn our livelihood here—some who are here for about 30 to 40 years, and some who continue to work here even beyond the retirement age.

We complain about everything back home and this habit looms large even overseas. After all, who has been brought here by force? The reasons may vary. And yet the underlying element is that we all seek our ‘bread and butter’ here. Some have simply come for a job; others for a better paying job; some for survival; and some for a tax-free hefty package. Whatever said and done, this is our karmabhoomi (place of work) and we continue to live because each one is able to fulfil that need for which we landed here. We owe a lot to this land; and to the people of this land who, for whatever reasons, have allowed lakhs of Indians to come and work and settle here peacefully. One may argue that manpower is needed here and hence we are needed. But we have to be thankful for that as well.

We all love our nation; the one where we were born and which nurtured us. However, has complaining not become a permanent part of our psyche? We complain there about shortages—of water, of basic amenities; of health care; of jobs; of housing; and of opportunities too. We complain that merit is not recognised here; but back home does merit triumph? It is suffocating there too beneath layers and layers of casteist, regional or other affinities. Those in public life betray the governed everywhere. It is neither unusual here; nor there back home.

We complain that Salmiya, Hawalli, Fahaheel, Abbasiya and some other areas where expats live in majority are ill-kept areas. But then we do seriously need to consider whether we are, to some extent, responsible for the filth or garbage. How much of what we see on the roads in the areas we live or in the gardens of our areas, is our own doing? We are also, to some extent, responsible for the stereotype images the natives or others have of us, we Indians.

There is no one, but three Indias that live here. One, the upper class that inhabits villas of Salwa or Jabriya and the plush apartments of Riggae etc. Then there is the middle class living in Salmiya, Abu Halifa, Jeleeb, and other areas. And then there is the huge army of labourers who are cramped either in labour camps or are living, sometimes 20 of them together, in dilapidated matchbox-sized flats. All the three broad groups have an agenda each of their own and reason their own as to why they chose to come here. One common thread of thought runs through us all, though. The focus is to save and take it back home, as much as one can. There are differing needs and circumstances that each one of us has to cope with, and nothing wrong either in wanting to save and take it back too. However, one must look at this scenario from the perspectives of the citizens of this country too.

We do not pay any tax and meagre amounts for utilities such as water, electricity etc. Then the majority of us do not wish to spend uselessly on tea, coffee, water or food etc outside. We are reluctant to tip; we choose to stay in dilapidated buildings despite having the means to live better. The mindset is ‘this is not our place and why spend here?’ We live frugally and sometimes really miserly. And yet, we complain that we are not treated well as the whites are, for example.

There may be issues of governance and attitude here but people of which country can understand the perspective of the natives than we? We come from a land where a few thousand from Uttar Pradesh are abused and threatened in Mumbai and the Biharis are considered encroachers in Bengal and Orissa and the Bengalis are threatened in Assam and so on. How can we complain about Localization when we are the champions of regionalism and reservation ourselves?

Road accidents... the gap between the rich and the poor... living in cramped houses... the fear of civil unrest or of war... the rude treatment at government-run hospitals... fear and insecurity of being harassed by the police or women honked at—which of these phenomena are we unaware of in our own country? Complaining about nations and particular nationalities is uncalled for. It’s just that human beings are of two kinds: those who contribute and those who destroy. Those in-charge of governance are also of two kinds: those who build and those who spoil it all. Is there a dearth of people in India who are lazy or who simply drink and gamble or live off others’ wealth? Does influence or vaasta not matter in India?

While enjoying the smooth roads... the long weekends... the lovely colour of the sea... the barbecues...the (subsidised)hot khoobz... the savings... the total variety of Indian food and Indian ingredients available here with ease... the services of maids and cleaners... the fabulous cars... let us live each moment that we must live here, as gratefully as we can. It is this place and the people who have, voluntarily or out of necessity, allowed us in their country, that we are able to fulfil our responsibilities; embark on international holidays with ease; honour our commitments; educate our children in the best of institutions and then marry them off well; and build sprawling houses back home.

Most of us do find idyllic time here. Ensuring that our children do not turn out to be simply gadget-addicts but responsible representatives of the India that is struggling to find a niche for itself could do us well. And then of course, take a deep breath the next time you get time to sit for a few minutes at the corniche... we live in a beautiful place...

Dr.
Navniit Gandhi is an academic since 25+ years; a feature writer (300+ articles), and has authored 10 books. Her 10th and most recently authored, published and launched book is titled: NOT MUCH IS AS IT SEEMS Her write-ups can be read at navniitspeaks.wordpress.com
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Express your comment on this article

 
Dr Sonali Pharne
Monday, April 2, 2012
Excellent article,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I m enjoying life here with my family.........fantastic country & Kuwaitis..........!!!!!!!!!

Mustan
Monday, April 2, 2012
Thats Really true, every point you have pointed is presently correct,
I love kuwait and the live style and our living is almost perfect to grow and be educated. but Kuwait citizens are a big problem bcoz they make rule and they only brake on there will.
i am running for my work permit for 4months&
i m fedup of the ministry work. citizen employees will come at 9am & 11:45am they will stop working.They have no feelings or a humanitarian that expats are also humans.everyday plp take leave from there job to finish the ministry work but they fail to do so coz of the citizen working as there rule.
1000 of plp come for there problem but they have no solution for our problem.i have seen in 4months that ministry work is a careless and unprofessional plp working there to solve our problem.they have no manners and
Kuwait needs to get some educated & Professional plp for there ministry work that expats can be tension free and stay for long.

plp saying that we have no complaints for kuwait rule's, bcoz they have not come to the ministry work activities.once in a life time you will be experiencing.

Kuwait is best to live but worse for rule's bcoz there are no rule's for citizen's .

Dr. Prasad
Monday, April 2, 2012
This is one of the good articles I have come across on the website. I know there will be praises as well as negative comments on this. It is surely an eye-opener but not for all. What I think out of it is that there would be following changes.

1)MOST of those earning a good amount of money and trying to just save and save would start spending more for elevating their life style and try not complaining about negative things which are common to Kuwait as well as India.

2)A FEW of those earning a few Dinars surplus would try spending more on the weekends but would continue complaining as they will have the rest of the week-days for it.

3)ALMOST ALL of those just managing to survive here and help their families in India would in the first place not be able to read this article due to a number of reasons. But even if they are told about it nothing would change for them except increase their frustration.

I am happy to read this article and will try to judge myself in which category I fit into as per Dr.Gandhi and what changes could I make in my thinking process.

With due respect to all Indians here if we see closely, as a whole we come in the same category and that is, WE ALL ARE INDIANS in the first place and next is we all are EXPATS in Kuwait. I think if we try to categorize by financial status, we would never be helpful to each other.

So its up to us to decide as how to live. Either Happily as INDIANS AND RESIDENTS OF KUWAIT or little subdued as EXPATS AND ALIENS.

Last but not the least we should thank this country for allowing us and giving the opportunity to work here. So hope you all enjoy your stay in Kuwait and God be with all.

Regards to Dr.Gandhi.

ramu
Saturday, March 31, 2012
stopping reading the newspapers or the internet update of kuwait,then only we can say kuwait is very good.Then also environmental conditions can be realised by feeling. Ask to those who are raped by kuwaitis or ask to those who get involved in accidents due to rash driving of kuwaitis, and to those who ride on emergency lanes with payment of citations. There are so many in the lists and still you say not to complain.
We are discussing about our complaining part with our colleages rather than to the authorities concerned.
This article doesnt highlight the pain of the indians who are here for the last few years earning their bread only to make their family live peacefully in india.In india they have their own houses but here they live in small sharing partitions only to save money because we came here to make money not to spend it.
Spending time comes when we go on vacation.Those people who live with families in kuwait will not realise the pain of living away from family for 1 year, 2 year or even more than 2 years
I think this article is only for the high society people of indians living in kuwait so no further comments as I strongly feel the writer also is also among this community.

Naseha Sultan
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Wonderful article, ma'am. it was really an eye opener. We have just got used to complaining, be it here or India. Rather than being grateful, complaining is all that we do. Whatever might be the problems here, We still really need to thank Kuwait & its ppl for giving us a chance to be here, and lead an easier, healthier, happier life as compared to India, and for all that we get (water, power, etc) at absolutely no, or very less cost.

By this I ain't criticizing India, its OUR country and will always be the dearest to us, but we all really need to work on our own individual levels first, so that it becomes a nation that is looked up by all and we can be proud of it in real terms.

Hope that day comes soon.. Insha Allah!

Hana
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
I completely agree to this article. Kuwait has given us so much in life and we have been able to eat the best and live the most luxurious life.. I am blessed to be here and the earnings have supported me and my family back home in many ways..

G.M.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Excellent article. Good eye opener. We have to salute Kuwait for giving us such opportunity. What ever you mentioned is true. But some complainers never change. it is their mind set. God bless all.

Judge Julez
Monday, March 19, 2012
I guess every word of the article speaks for itself, but I wouldnt agree with it all. To begin with our country is yet in the developing stage no matter how much we think it is advanced, not technology but people's mentality, corruption, politics etc has yet to develop. The reason we are here is only 1 thing, to earn our livelihood. Back home the opportunities are endless but the rewards are limited, compared to Kuwait having an advantge of the high currency rate and termed as the oil rich country we get far more than we could have back home. But our intellect, our capabilities, our potential is weighed at a very negligible rate compared to the other western expats. Yes we do have a right to compplain, we work and we work harder than anyone, yet I find a huge racial discrimination practise in this country. Our people are picked up as labourers, maids, drivers, cleaners etc and the whole Indian community is termed as poor. Only Indians will live in cheap houses, we dont have a right to live a lavish life simply because we have been traped in an Indian salary bracket. Very few Indians move up and live a dream life in Kuwait, the rest have to just count days and make do with what we have. So yes this situation according to me is oppressive and we have every right to complain about it ...... untill we just get immune to it and live our monotone life.

Navniit Gandhi
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Dear SJ,

Thank you for submitting your comments on the site and for passing on the information regarding the article in Kuwait Times.

Sadly though, the gist of my article was to simply urge all of us to think before going on a general complaining spree all the time. The same logic applies to when we live in our own country and simply look at and complain about all that which is not right. Whether we live in India or have decided to live here, might as well look at the not-so-dismal side of the picture.

I request that all those who have lamented in that article in Kuwait Times online gather in a ground and whomsoever is willing to leave kuwait today be asked to raise hands. Let us see how many would do so. Many might want to leave but would they actually? This means that there is some need being fulfilled here.Whoever is lamenting about lack of religious freedom, self-respect, citizenship etc had all of that in their own country and yet they CHOSE consciously to come and remain here.
My point of view is only this that when we take a decision, there is no harm in living by it without lamenting. If it is unbearable, decisions can be changed and the country can be left. To chose to continue living and continue lamenting may just be a matter of habit for some. This does not imply that there is nothing to complain about here. Many incidents and occurrences do hurt but we cannot forget that everything in life is and will be a package deal. This also does not mean that everything is imperfect here. No life in any part of the world can be perfect or ideal. Struggles only change in their garb or intensity, but they remain.



SJ
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Dear Author,

Please read an Article in today's Kuwait Times Online version, "Expatriates lament...".

Then you would understand worthlessness of your article! Many, as usual, bandwagon jumpers would give a thumbs up for literally anything that comes in nicely wrapped package. But please wake up from Ostrich mind set up and improve your observing nature before chastising all others around you.

Shakeel Mohammad
Friday, March 16, 2012
An excellant attempt to clarify the reality and myths of our life in Kuwait.The mantra of life "QUIT COMPLAINING & ENJOY LIFE " gets fully supported.


Mathew John
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
You are a Doctor so it is easy to judge the poor and the downtrodden.You have great education we are underprevileged.Charity begins @ HOME.Ms. Gandhiji, ask yourself what have you dne to improve the plight. Why dont you walk to al the Indian associations to brief the community with your motivational words of wisdom... a lot of soul searching to do. Mahathma G. did it before he preached..

no offence , it takes courage to answer people like u yaar...

Mansooor
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Excellent article, congrats Dr Gandhi

diana
Monday, March 12, 2012
how nicely you have written Dr.Gandhi, i really appreicate your article. i too lived in kuwait for few years, back home we could make a nice house, saved some money, now living a good life. I love kuwait.

SJ
Monday, March 12, 2012
Yes there is no need to complain, agreed. But people complain many things but just for one reason, that you've forgotten to mention in your article, which is that, they do not identify themself with their resident country. In other words you never get the status of a citizen despite the whole years you spend here. You forgot the basic fact why we (most of) INDIANS do not spend on nicer apartments, tips, extra cup of tea and the like. The very answer lies in the fact that ONE DAY, sooner or later, you have to dust off and leave this place just like you have nothing to do with the place (unlike an immigrant to Europe/Aus/US). It is not out of misery, but it is out or realization (and not stereotyping).

Salaries that we cannot ever dream in India, Stress free work environment, Tax haven, Superior infrastructure all are true and that is one or other reason for us to be here and I dont think someone would be ever complaining about these.


Mahesh Thawani
Sunday, March 11, 2012
nicely written very true.
Now I am in Mumbai I am trying to enjoy the best what I have and I can, rather than complaining.

sunil
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Thanks for reminding these facts. Agree, human by nature have habit of complaining and so it is very natural. This is a good place to live. To me, this could be the best of East and West.

Nice article. Looking forward for another one.

baljit singh
Sunday, March 11, 2012
True it is.By nature we crib.Things are better off and yet we dont lose a second complaining.In fact most of the people grudge the way they are treated by thir own countrymne rather than by the locals.

hats of to Ms Navneet for bringing in the open afact of life and lets stop bickering or return to our motherland.

Madathil Nair
Saturday, March 10, 2012
What do you mean by "just a few years more"? You sound pessimistic there reducing your Kuwait longevity, which should be eternity as per normal Indian wish standards. I am able to say this because I managed to escape the Kuwaiti seduction at New Year, much against my wish.

And mind you, the memories of the corniche, posh cars and slothful weekends that you so fondly feel enamoured with are not the things that I recollect on my sweltering couch of leisure here in my sultry South Indian town. The cloud that passeth the mountain top fascinates me and in that fascination my sweating body is no botheration, for sweating is Indian destiny. We enjoy it because that is the only way we can be Indian.

All said and done, your style is indeed endearing Ms. Gandhi and you have poured out the Indian heart.

M.U. Beg
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Very positive article. But Navneet to make "complaints" is innate character of human beings against what they don't like. What makes it "frustration" when people do not have the "right" to make complaints.

Most of the time people just vent out their frustration and actually not complaining the system or facilities etc.

Umesh Sharma
Saturday, March 10, 2012
The fact of the matter is that the life in Kuwait is easy and comfortable with probably the highest average saving potential in the world. Making complaints is a human nature and have become a pass-time perhaps.

Jayashree Ambaskar
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Navneet......mI fully agree with you.

Actually, in Kuwait, you get the family n social life better than any other country. Husband comes home around 4 pm. We can spend time with all the family members without any work tension and pressure.

You get so much free time to explore yourself n do many creative activities.

So.........Even I have no complaints at all :)


gob
Saturday, March 10, 2012
good article to read. seems rosy. everyone undergoes ups and downs.just because we are in this part of the world or anywhere else for that matter, doesnt seem there should be no complains.what can you do to improve the lifestyle? people talk so much, but doesnt look at themselves. when you have everything, many such articles can be published.see the real sufferings of people around the world and then introspcet.

arun thomas
Friday, March 9, 2012
well said...
once v start grumbling v do not know how it seeps through our mind...until some1 reminds us.
V r as good as our mindsets...

Preeti
Friday, March 9, 2012
Nice article, Dr. Gandhi!!...I agree with most of the points and its positiveness which changes us and our surroundings.....we represent a great nation....our positive creative attitude will definitely have a impact on not only Indians but even the workplace where we work...keep up the good job!!

sangeeta sharma
Friday, March 9, 2012
i agree wholly with the writer.bk home thngs r not rosy either so let's stop complaining & enjoy our present.i'm happy with this place so no regrets!

Azra
Thursday, March 8, 2012
let us live and enjoy each moment that we must live here, as gratefully as we can...very nicely written

seema
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Its a human nature to complain all our life no matter how satisfied human is..but nevertheless ur article must have put every reader in thought process and the fact to enjoy whereever we are...and to respect our karmabhoomi

Anil Nambiar
Thursday, March 8, 2012
good attempt to justify. up to certain extend you are correct.....

Hamza Ezzi
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Thats really true, it totally depends on what do u think, if we think positively Kuwait has given us much more than as compared to our own country, we should be much more thankful to Kuwait,its like enjoy each n every moment and world will be much more beautiful than it was :)

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