Maid Matters
Monday, September 10, 2012
It is usually on the 1st or 2nd of the month. The face is superficially downcast. There is no regret. There is no guilt.
‘Madam, my ‘hakama’ problem. Going to India today. I not coming for work from tomorrow.’ Or probably, ‘Madam,my father-in-law very serious. Going to India today. My sister-in-law Lakshmi will come from tomorrow.’
Living in Kuwait, inevitably brings us in touch with at least one Lakshmi or Sunita or Nirmala. Very few households have missed the privilege of allowing their lives to be turned topsy-turvy by our can’t-do-without-and-not-easy-to-handle maids. The newly married or newly arrived-in-kuwait couples usually begin with the lady of the house resolving that she would manage without a maid.
‘After all, not a very big house and hence, not difficult to clean’, we assume.
Many of us begin thus. Then, we eventually get weary of the same tasks each day. The frequent dust-storms add to the weariness. And then all around, the grass in the houses where maids seem to be efficiently doing everything looks definitely greener. And then one day, we decide to take the plunge. Yes, why not! The neighbour or the ‘Harres’ is contacted and the maids start arriving promptly at the doorstep.
The initial few days are heavenly. They take the trouble to bend and sweep; they mop carefully behind the doors and don’t miss corners. They arrive promptly. Of course, it isn’t easy to explain the chores and it takes a while before they get it all right. And then, one begins to bask in the luxury of letting them take over.
One or two months pass, and there are some lies here; some excuses there. Someday, on paying attention closely, one is shocked to see that the dusting is half-heartedly and hurriedly done; the mop is not taken to all the corners- if no one is watching. They do not clean the carpets everyday; they avoid work that is not going to be noticed. One feels let down. Why can they not be sincere? The busy and carefree ladies, allow it to let go. The cleanliness-freaks gulp the frustration, and go on while instructing the maids all the time and following them too, as they move about. Most of us go on, so as not to go through the trouble of experimenting with newer ones all over again, and then patiently waiting before they get the chores alright. We ignore the minor lapses... until one day, when they drop the bombshell. There is no notice given and on one fine day they declare that they have to travel to India as the hakama could not be renewed or the father-in-law or someone else is very sick.
‘Our’ maids have this amazing level of information on where have a vacancy arisen, and this unbelievable ability to ensure that one of their sisters or sisters-in-law or other relative manages to get the job they have left. Their networking and lobbying and connectivity would make our most-qualified managers seem out-dated. If not the government, it is they who have themselves organised their affairs and very well know how to protect their own interests.
However, there are several shades to the maid-matters. There is an obvious picture and then, there is something beyond the obvious. They have their own worries; their very own struggles here. For whom, has life anyways, ever been a cake-walk?
The average rate charged by the maids is KD 15/- an hour and may vary from area to area. A part-time maid, who begins her day as early as 6.00-6.30 am and goes to about six-seven homes, earns between $ 600 and $ 750 or more a month. Almost every one of them works for about 10-12 hours a day. If the salary is converted to our currency, the amount seems to be astronomical. Yes, they make quite an amount. And yet, there is nothing which comes without a price-tag. They too pay a price for earning this kind of money.
Some of the maids do have their husbands staying with them here, but none of them have their children staying with them. And almost, all of them live in over-cramped flats—sometimes, 25-30 of them living together. The money may be ample; but so is the pain of having to leave one’s toddlers behind with uncles or aunts or grandparents. The result is not altogether positive. Mothers hardly have a role left to play in the upbringing of their children. If husbands are there, they might take life easy and eventually stop working and fall a prey to vices such as alcoholism. If both the parents are here, there is the risk of children falling a prey to vices, in the absence of parental monitoring. The bonding develops—not between the mothers working here as maids and their children back home, but between the children and the goodies that the mothers take with them when they go to their children after a gap of two-three years. Gradually, it is the financial worth of theirs that alone matters the most to their own family members. Children eventually stop pining for their mothers, but their dreams of foreign goodies and gadgets, gain momentum and volume with each passing year.
And, by the time the maids grow old and consequently, incapable of working, they eagerly go back home only to find that no one is waiting eagerly with their doors and arms open for them. What is this life full of cares!!! And yet, this is how it is. Of course, every silver lining is against a picture that is bleak, and every bleak picture has a lining in silver. If it would not be for the work and sacrifices that these maids make, their children would never receive education in private schools and colleges. A vast majority of them have succeeded in building their own houses, almost grand. And hence, the mad scramble for working in the Gulf. For some, it involves a big expenditure and even constant hassles after reaching here as well. For many, there are painful instances of ill-treatment at the hands of their sponsors or dignity abused on the roads.
Living and working in Kuwait may be a reassurance for the future for the maids, and yet they miss the growing up years of that very future...
For us, a maid around may make day-to-day management easier or inversely, their dishonesty or lack of sincerity could hurt and disappoint. Yes, it is a mixed bag. One ought to be grateful though, that unlike our American and British fellow-expats, we have the option of keeping a maid. For us, the women living here—the probability of going to work and focussing on our respective careers is also enhanced, with the maids around.
Meanwhile, beware! If your maid comes tomorrow with a smug expression, her father-in-law must be probably sick. Sit back, and have your cup of tea. If your maid is Lakshmi, she will ensure that Sunita takes her place...Your door bell will start ringing from tomorrow onwards, as the hopefuls will all start pouring in. Yes, life goes on!!!
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Navniit Gandhi is an academic since 25+ years; a feature writer (300+ articles), and has authored 10 books.
Her 10th and most recently authored, published and launched book is titled: NOT MUCH IS AS IT SEEMS
Her write-ups can be read at
navniitspeaks.wordpress.com
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