Bravehearts...
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Dr. Saxena has had a fall. His shoulder and arm got fractured, when he missed a step and fell on the pavement. He is 70 years old and the recovery is taking a lot of time. His wife is about 68 years old, and struggles to take care of all his needs—diets, medicines etc, while he remains immobile and in pain. Then, there are umpteen visitors- friends and neighbours who keep pouring in, who are also magnanimously treated with hospitality. They have been living in Kuwait for about 30 years now... Life is comfortable and complete, with all their three children well settled-- two in the US and one in Canada. Is something amiss in this picture perfect life? Yes, the children are not here with them... They cannot rush to Kuwait every time very easily, even when either of the parent is sick or in pain.
Nazia and Mohsin are a young couple, living in Kuwait since about ten years now. Their eldest son is in Class X this year, while the younger daughter is just six years old. It’s been three years since Nazia has gone home, to meet her mother and sisters in India. And the couple have not taken a touristic vacation since more than a decade. All the sacrifices are done though, with anticipation and smile on their faces and twinkle in their eyes. They too want to send their son to the United Kingdom for higher studies, post- Std.XII. They might need nearly KD 7,000/- per year or more to pay the fee for an Engineering degree and bear the boarding and other expenses.
Parents—young or old; are real Bravehearts. It is not easy to know the fact that our children are going to leave us and go far away to complete their studies as soon as they complete Std XII, and yet, to gracefully go about doing one’s duties. It is not easy to be so normal and casual about this separation, and yet they not only seem to have accepted this fact but go out of their ways to sacrifice and save so as to secure a rosy future for their children. They do not have the time and opportunity, as parents in India have, to be with their children at least, till they complete their graduation or post-graduation. Time is less, and often, the sacrifices are more here.
And then, our Bravehearts do not know as to where will their young children finally settle down? And, our Bravehearts do not know if they will rush for them and take care of them during a parent’s cataract surgery or a knee-replacement surgery or an Angioplasty. Whether it be the US or the UK or Australia, it will most probably be not easy for the children to pick up their bags and rush to take care, despite their yearning to do the same. And yet, the Bravehearts understand; they keep their expectations modest. They do not complain; they do not grumble. They live each moment of the present, with a smile... gather and savour as many moments with their children as they can; fulfil the desires and dreams of their children unselfishly.
And our Bravehearts here often do not have the support system of their own parents and other relatives, to manage the crises situations, if and when they arise. Both the parents must work hard and save as much as is possible, and if a child has a fall or an accident, then there is sometimes no grandparent; no extended family member to take care...
Parents must manage it all, on their own...
Working parents must control their fears and worries, and trust maids, baby sitters, play-schools etc to take care of their children while they are at work. Every step in the growth and upbringing of children here, poses challenges. There is limited choice for parents when they have to decide about their children’s Doctors, Teachers, Hobby classes, Drivers, Friends, and other agents of care and socialisation.
And to keep doing the best for the children, knowing that the children are not going to be living close to them, forever, is not easy. A salute to the Bravehearts!!!
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Navniit Gandhi is an academic since 25+ years; a feature writer (300+ articles), and has authored 10 books.
Her 10th and most recently authored, published and launched book is titled: NOT MUCH IS AS IT SEEMS
Her write-ups can be read at
navniitspeaks.wordpress.com
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