As One Journey Ends Another Begins.....

Ann Mariya Sabu
Monday, May 3, 2021

Inevitably, summers of our youth transit into seasons of life. The tapestry of my life seems to acquire a myriad of hues with every year that passes by, contributions from the people I meet and the experiences I accumulate. Looking down on this sojourn of my life.. the little nuggets of wisdom I gleaned through this journey, a journey from being reeked of desperation to rah rah churchiness...

I was a total cream puff, 2 years back I was questioning what my deeper purpose is and was wallowing in misery of that quagmire for the millionth time, going through the motions of living my lukewarm life with occasional flare ups of awesomeness but yes, one thing I undoubtedly possessed was "Tenacity" of a dateless cheerleader.

Helen Keller reminds us, "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. "In the summers of 2019, I had a life changing moment, where I tried to defy His plans whose volume and area are just beyond my grasp, I didn't want to be a part of school cabinet, let alone be the School Pupil Leader... But we have indeed been fortunate enough to be backed by a team of very motivated and dedicated teachers who journey with us as our mentors, philosophers, friends and guides, I was told by my teachers to give it a shot, all I could say was that I was incredulous whether I can do it or not. Having said speeches all my life standing in that podium and delivering a spectacular election campaign speech seemed like a cakewalk but no, I was hesitant.

I was so high on that day with 2 tablespoons of anxiety, 1 spoon of fear and a barrel of excitement as if it was my first time giving a speech. I decided to take the path less travelled, my election campaign speech began like this, " Before I commence my speech, I would request you all to stand, (n they all stood, smiling and baffled) and I requested them all take few steps forward and backward and then, after a defined moment of silence, said " I did this because my mom said if I moved the audience I would win....... which was unexpectedly followed by a thunderous applause, they were 400+ people present that day, I gave my best speech I had ever given in my whole life......

There's that incredible moment in your life when you decide, "screw it, I'm going for it," and suddenly the thrill overtakes the fear, and that's what exactly happened to me that day... Words couldn't decipher my emotions. And lo and behold, leaping into action loudly declaring my impending victory I just luxuriated in the magnificence available in the moment when I was declared the School Pupil Leader for the academic year 2019-2020, and that's exactly where my whole journey of metamorphosis began...A journey from being a simple carbon tetra molecule to a shining diamond which exactly was my election symbol.

A blazing desire, and an unflinching belief in our own vision before it's manifested is all that it takes. As my journey continued, I kept moving, kept growing, kept pushing through obstacles, kept evolving. You break through at one level, arrive at the next, and take another step up. Each time you grow, you get to learn something new, which basically means you have to get uncomfortable again. Because when you arrive at a level you've never been at before, you're faced with challenges you've never experienced before. It's the willingness to keep pushing through new challenges, not shrink from them back into your comfort zone, that separates the successful from the unsuccessful.

Obstacles and challenges are the agents of growth. Even when things are at their most uncertain Believe there's a shiny bright flipside within your reach, nobody gets to the top of the mountain without falling on his/her face over and over again.

I remember in this journey of mine, I decided to take few tough calls and made decisions due to which the world entitled me to be lunatic, one of them being that for a school backdrop for the farewell for our seniors, and I wanted an airplane to move since our theme was travel, on telling this to people around me, they all were shocked and in disbelief, but I took the risk and went for it as I took in charge of the backdrop, and Voila! it was the highlight of the show, standing backstage hearing people scream when the airplane moved in the background was overwhelming, Andre Gide so aptly puts it, "one doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time" .

All it takes to turn the fear factor around is learning to be comfortable in, instead of terrified of, the unknown. And this is done through faith. To fear or not to fear, that is the question.

Most beautiful experiences of 14 years of school life in Carmel would be from being given an opportunity to speak for Christmas assembly back when I was in kindergarten which apparently was those baby steps, to acting as a teacher in skits, to narration to hosting, to being backdrop in charge and finally to being elected as the School Pupil Leader and experiencing and doing things I was never good at, you could say that I was on a ride to the zenith of euphoria.

Just like how a gold is tested, there was umpteen trials and tribulations in my life, I was dejected, angry, a feeling of hopelessness and incertitude enveloped me, this journey of being a just a normal little simple girl to a learning thinking individual who had found her inner voice was a roller coaster ride in which definitely I had my own share of high highs and low lows
“You don't paddle against the current, you paddle with it. And if you get good at it, you throw away the oars.”-Kris Kristofferson. Rough seas make better sailors -I decided to let go of my past story and rewrite a new one that fits who I truly am. Having finished my tenure with an indelible support from teachers and family and the sisters of our convent school, I feel I'm truly blessed and just reminiscing on the fact that if I hadn't submitted my form for standing for elections on a Thursday afternoon, well I don't think yours truly would have been drafting this one now....

Back in class 5th, when my English teacher asked, who would like to go back to India for their future studies, I with a strong conviction and courage was the only person to raise my hand high up in the air, saying I want to bring a change in my country, where my roots are from and hence I will go to INDIA.

I wish to reach out to the downtrodden and the meek the people who are victims of a callous capitalistic society . India, all I would like to say is You are in my blood, and Kuwait, Kuwait will always be in my heart, the country where I was born and brought up. After this spectacular journey in Kuwait, I look forward to my journey in INDIA as a responsible citizen who will be a role model to the youth of our nation You may say my dreams are farfetched, but you see, It all starts with a dream, hence DARE to dream and make those dreams your goals...... Never look down on yourself, keep looking up. Remember that broken crayons still color. Keep on pushing, you never can tell how close you are to your goal.

Finally, I would like to place on record my heart felt gratitude and laudation to all those who have been indispensable and inevitable instruments in this odyssey of my life. I would like to end by stating Robert Frost "I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence; Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference"

Today the 24th of April 2021 marks 2 years from where this journey started….. I’m forever grateful to everyone for the lessons learnt and the friendships made. Gratitude galore !

s
Ann Mariya Sabu
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