You hear about FOMO a lot these days. It’s certainly not a good thing. And it leads you to check social media again and again and again so you don’t feel out of the loop. In fact, FOMO leads people to check social media right after they wake up, before they go to bed and during meals. So you know you’re doing okay. So you don’t feel left out. And while we have all likely experienced FOMO, we have also likely experienced the joy and relief of canceling plans we never actually wanted to attend. Sometimes that alleviates the anxiety — but often it doesn’t. And either way it drives you to keep running around the digital hamster wheel to feel okay with yourself.
FOMO often originates in unhappiness. If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, because we believe others to be happier than they are. So what’s the most common response? To post something. As if to say: Look at me! I’m cool, too!
The key to happiness has really comes down to one word: Attention. Looking at social media for happiness is a bad idea. You won’t find it out there. Sounds cliché’ but it’s the truth. When you’re caught in the loop of FOMO you tune out the real world and tune in to the fake one. People with FOMO stop paying attention to life and turn to social media for their happiness cure.
How can I try to tune back into the real world? Try a simple experiment:
Look around. What good things might you be taking for granted? Home? Family? Friends? Now take a couple seconds to imagine those were taken away from you. How would you feel? Bad things happen to us randomly, right? So to some degree, you are lucky to have what you do. Sound silly, but it works. Mentally subtracting cherished moments from your life makes you appreciate them more, makes you grateful and makes you happier. In fact, gratitude is arguably the king of happiness. The more a person is inclined to gratitude, the less likely he or she is to be depressed, anxious, lonely, envious, or neurotic. Trust me, I’ve tried it and now I spend more time with my family and I don’t feel left out when I see people posting pictures of them enjoying with their friends. In fact, I feel happy for them. I may not be eating at a fancy restaurant or drinking Starbucks at the moment, but I am more than happy to be with my family and enjoying the scrumptious food my mom makes.
Social media certainly helps you to overcome any kind of sadness. But don’t scroll and compare. Use it to plan face-to-face get together. And when you’re with friends, put that phone away. Seeing friends and family regularly is the happiness you need.
When you spend all that time staring in envy at the oh-so-cool pictures of cleverly crafted bliss keep one thing in mind: It’s your life you’re missing out on.